Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World

I'm actually midway through the sixth book in The Wheel of Time as I'm typing this. So why am I reviewing this book? The answer is simple: because as much as I love this series, it's long, it's convoluted, and I tend to miss a lot of things on my first read through. Jordan has his problems in writing, as many as he has strengths, and it necessitated a refresher to his stories.

For the uninformed, The Wheel of Time is infamous for its length. Fifteen book, eleven thousand pages, and 17.5 days of audiobook tracks. It's a commitment.

The prologue was perfect for a book like this. It's short (for a chapter in these books) and it does what it's supposed to do. The tragedy of Lews Therin ends up driving a good deal of the story, of which I approve of.

Getting into the actual story, it starts slow. It takes nearly five chapters for the characters to leave the Two Rivers, but I approve of this. It gives the tiny village of Edmunds Field a sense of coziness and familiarity. In the first chapter we meet our protagonist, Rand al'Thor, his friend Mat Cauthon, Rand's father Tam, the Congars and the Coplins, the mayor Bran, and Cenn Buie the thatcher. The second chapter introduces Ewin Finnegar, Master Luhaun the blacksmith, and the strangers Moiraine and Lan. The third chapter introduces us to our final protagonist, Perrin Aybara, Rand's starting love interest Egwene, the town Wisdom Nynaeve, and the peddler Padan Fain. As you see, there's a lot set up here, and all these characters are clearly defined, both by their personality and their roles in their community. This makes the Two Rivers seem like an actual close knit town, so you really feel bad when, in chapter five, trollocs attack Rand's peaceful farmhouse, when he arrives in the village only to find ir razed, and when Rand and his friends have to leave.

Listening to this, I'm beginning to realize just how good Jordan is at subtle foreshadowing. There were times when something significant happened that I thought little of, like the Myrddraal finding the group at the Stag & Lion after Rand ran into Padan Fain, or the strange sensation Rand feels when he's trying to will Bella to run faster. Even Mat's breakdown I was entirely passing off as mere nerves, even after finding out he took the dagger from Shadar Logoth.

In hindsight, this seems like an odd book out. Here, the characters are unknowns. By the end of the next book, the three boys are either lords or on their way to becoming them, leading armies and the like. It makes it kind of odd to reread this.

I've got to say, I'm waiting for the comic adaptation to get to the Ways. I'll bet they look cool.

Of course, if I'm going to talk about this, I think I need to talk about Jordan's gender politics. I felt like every adult male character in this book was my dad, telling a slightly chauvinistic joke when they were talking about a woman. It actually gets worse in later books, believe it or not. I wasn't really distracted by it yet.

There are a few hiccups in the book. There’s one scene that’s repeated twice, and I really don’t get it.

This book is a lot of exposition. Nearly every culture gets introduced, as does a lot of history. You need to look at this series as a whole, really. The big picture.

I guess I'll spend the rest of the review talking about the characters, and my thoughts on them.

Rand: I'm glad they avoided the "arrogant, headstrong youth looking for adventure" archetype I see in a lot of stories like this. No, Rand acting stupid isn't until the next book. Here, his mistakes seem like the kind of thing anyone being put in danger for the first time might do. He's an everyman, but not a blank slate.

Mat: Mat bugged the hell out of me in this book. After finding out about the dagger, I thought better of him, but I didn't start liking him until the third book. I was a bit surprised he wasn't just comic relief here.

Perrin: I think Perrin is someone we'd all like to be like: cool, collected, and not going about doing really stupid things like Mat and sometimes Rand does. I liked him probably the best out of the trio, mostly because I wished I could take things in stride as he can.

Egwene: ...Eh, there's really not much I have to say about her. In this book, at least, I had trouble seeing her as anything more than a love interest to Rand, at least in the first third. When the group gets separated and she ends up with Perrin, I was surprised. She doesn't grow out of this role until later.

Nyneave: I'll just say it: Nyneave annoys the hell out of me. Her attitude is the number one example of Jordan's skewed gender politics. I never really bought her relationship with Lan, even after looking out for it. In fact, this one book contains the only moment I've liked her so far, when she confronts Rand at the Stag & Lion.

Moiraine: Moiraine, in this book, is pretty flat. She's your typical old mentor, except she's a young (looking) woman. But as I result, I didn't hate the Aes Sedai until later (about book three).

Lan: Again, pretty flat here, barring his relationship (or lack thereof) with Nyneave. We don't even learn why he's serving Moiraine until another book, so... eh.

Thom: This guy's one of my favorite characters. He manages to be a second mentor, only with more playfulness about him. He looks after the three boys, even though he wants nothing to do with Aes Sedai. I don't think that I bought that he was dead, but maybe that's because I saw him listed as a major character in the fandom and this was the first book.

Lolial: Another favorite. I guess I have a soft spot for huge, gently giants. Even though he's mostly an observer in this book.

Whitecloaks: Jordan has successfully gotten me to hate a whole group within one scene, and it only got worse later. It's pretty clear that Jordan didn't think too highly of fundamentalist Christians.

The Tinkers: I’m wondering what commentary Jordan was trying to put in here. Are the Tinkers wise or foolish? Eh...

No rating, because you really need to read the whole series.

Kick-A** 2

Note: I try to avoid cursing in my reviews. In this one, however, it’s impossible to. You've been warned.

So, Tuesday a friend of mine was in town, and we decided to see a movie. The only one we could agree on was Kick-Ass 2, so here’s my thoughts.

I saw the first movie in theaters as well, and without getting too much into it, I thought it was solid. It isn’t in my top one hundred, but good nonetheless.

This film picks up two years later. Mindy has been skipping school to fight crime as Hit Girl. Dave, sick of doing nothing, decides to don the costume again and asks her to train him. Then, we get a reversal. Marcus discovers Mindy’s secret and puts a stop to it, and Mindy finds herself wondering if a normal life would be better. Dave, meanwhile, discovers a team of superheroes he inspired, and joins up. Meanwhile, Chris D’Amico accidentally kills his mother, who has been keeping him safe at home since the last movie, and is free to pursue his vendetta on Kick-Ass. Donning his mother’s bondage gear, he becomes The Motherfucker, the first super villain, and proceeds to build his own team.

I was wondering what message this film was trying to send in regards to Mindy. The first movie pretty much made it clear that Big Daddy was screwing her over by forcing her to fight crime, but here they portray it as a good thing. Everything else is pretty consistent, though. It shows why superheroes wouldn’t work in the real world, though it seems to hint at a sequel with Dave still being Kick-Ass anyway.

Like the first film, action and comedy mix, though you need a pretty dark sense of humor to laugh at a lot of it, like a scene where Chris tries to rape one of Dave’s allies, only to be unable to get it up, or Mindy getting revenge on some bullies with a device that makes them vomit and defecate. It’s not for everyone, so I have a hard time recommending it.

Katie is pretty much written out via a really cringe worthy scene where everyone thinks Dave and Mindy have been getting romantic. Then, they hit at a real romance between the two. This is a shame, because earlier in the movie there was a scene where Dave comforted Mindy, and it worked as a brother-sister moment. I liked Katie in the first movie, so the romance here seemed pointless.

Chris is an appealing villain. Like the first movie, he does horrible things, but there’s a human quality to him. After his mother’s death, his bodyguard Javier steps up as a father figure, giving advice and encouraging him in his quest for revenge. It’s heartwarming, in a weird way.

Speaking of which, the relationships in this movie work. Dave and Mindy, Chris and Javier, and Dave and his dad all work so well. This movie knew when to slow down and let the characters breathe.

The violence is back in full force. There’s nothing horror movie level, but still bad for anyone with a squeamish stomach. Blood and over the top fatalities abound. The action is good, especially in the final battle. Hit Girl is every bit as awesome as she ever was. The scene at the end where she fights Mother Russia is a highlight.

I’m passing on rating this movie, but I enjoyed it, and I think I’ll see Kick-Ass 3.

Sonic & Mega Man: September 2013

Yeah, I'm a fan of both Mega Man and Sonic, so the Archie comics are always on my "To Read" list. I'll be covering them every month.

Sonic the Hedgehog #252

“A New Lease On Life”

Well, we'll start with the newest issue of Sonic the Hedgehog, and here is the major game changer. Anyone who's been following the news on the comic knows about the Penders lawsuit, and this one is where it hits the fan. None of Penders's characters exist anymore, retconned out of existence thanks to Worlds Collide. I knew it would happen, but I was kind of hoping they would still continue the storyline. Sadly not.

Nagus is no longer in Geoffrey's body, and he just ditches the kingdom, though he seems to be back to suffering near insanity. Since Robo-Robotnik was technically a Penders character, he's been merged with the original Robotnik. I hope they do something similar with Scourge/Evil Sonic, since he’s the only Penders created character I care about. Sally is no longer roboticized, making the whole Silver plotline an entire waste of time. King Max is healthy again. Silver is apparently on speaking terms with the rest of the cast. And Sonic and Tails re-enter fighting the Tails Doll.

I'm not saying much now, since the problem with a comic is you have to wait to see where it's going, but this doesn't bode well. It essentially nullifies the last two years and makes it pointless (well, four years... that’s how long ago Silver came announcing a traitor).. I guess there's nothing for it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Maybe this is for the best, we'll see.

And Sally's redesign looked weird to me. But I'll get used to it.

Sonic Universe #56

“Pirate Plunder Panic Part 2”

I was looking forward to this. Blaze is reunited with Amy and Cream, Bean and Bark return as antagonists, and the Big Bad is a Metal Sonic remade into Captain Metal. Seeing these characters made me think of the laughs in the “Treasure Team Tango” arc, but this one aims more for drama.

So far Captain Metal hasn't really made an impression on me as a villain. We find out his origin a bit more here, but right now he’s your typical power hungry villain, with a pirate motif. There is a bit of sadism to him, telling his minion to wait and drop Blaze and Amy just as they get free There’s the revelation that he’s found and rebuilt the Wily Egg, but we’ll have to wait and see there.

Bean and Bark are not as hilarious here as they were the last time I saw them, but maybe that’s because they don’t really get a chance to shine here. At the end, they double cross Metal for the Sol Emerald, leading to some possibilities for humor. I got a better feel that they were villains here than before, where Bean seemed to just be an idiot and Bark his silently suffering caretaker.

Mega Man #29

“The Curse of Ra Moon: Part One: Bad Moon Rising”

A year and four months into the comic, we’re finally getting around to Mega Man 3, and combining it with the Japan-only Super Adventure Rockman to boot. I think this was a good move. I love this comic, but when they directly adapted the first two games, everything went by too quick. This had several issues of lead in, letting the pacing be better.

There’s a feeling of hopelessness here. Ra Moon has deactivated all the world’s electronics, and society’s falling apart. I do not think this is too far fetched. Whenever my internet goes out, I find myself at a loss on how to do things, so I can buy society getting this dependent, if they’re not already.

Proto Man... I’m wondering exactly what’s going to happen with him. World’s Collide seems to hint he and Dr. Light never fully reconcile, even after Mega Man 10. I’m worried as to how paranoid he has to be not to trust Dr. Light after having everything explained to him. Still, he’s already having doubts about Wily. I’m wondering if it’s here or Mega Man 4 he truly switches sides.

Once again, the other Robot Masters act as Mega Man’s back up, this time Cuts Man, Guts Man, and Bomb Man. A wise move, not using all six. And Plant Man appears three games ahead of schedule, but it’s just a cameo, unfortunately. I’m worried that there are two sets of Robot Masters that Mega Man has to deal with, as I don’t want the fights going by too quick... or maybe this will lead into the true Mega Man 3 adaptation.

Wily’s seems to be slipping in sanity, an interesting subplot. Ra Thor looks a lot like Bass, and for a moment I thought he was, until I checked and saw he was a SAR character. I love how Ian digs deep into the Mega Man lore for this comic.

All in all, looking good, and I’m looking forward to October.

Mega Man Collection 1

I love Mega Man, even though my backlog habits have stopped me from really getting out of the Classic and X series. So the American cartoon has been on my list for quite awhile. When I finally came across the first season at my local game shop, I threw down the money for it, even though I was truthfully not expecting much from it. This was an early nineties cartoon after all, and a licensed one at that, and these tend to be good for a few laughs, but not up to the standards of modern animation.

I vaguely remember seeing this on TV as a kid, but the only episode I remembered was the one where Mega Man and Snake Man switch bodies.

There are changes from the games, of course. Proto Man is unambiguously evil, since this was before Bass was invented and there needed to be an anti-Mega Man. Dr. Cossack doesn't seem to exist, all his robots are Wily’s, and Beat seems never to have been built. You really have to forgive these changes, there natural with an adaptation

The art style is pretty typical for action cartoons around this time, meaning it's passable, but it wasn't the kind of thing that could hold my attention back in the Nineties when I was eight. All of the characters have undergone the usual American Kirby treatment, their designs are more mature looking. Mega Man looks like a teenager than a child, as does Roll. I guess I can't blame this decision, and honestly it doesn't bother me.

You'll all be pleased to know the characters make this transition well. The main ones, at least. They all look fine, with maybe one or two nitpicky things that I hardly think is worth bringing up. The only one I really went "Huh?" at was Eddie, but apart from being green he doesn't look that different, and he showed up so little I didn't care.

The Robot Masters, too, looks pretty good. Most only show up in one episode (more on that in a minute) but are designed well. Any discrepancies you'd likely need the game art to really notice. (Pop Quiz: which is more pathetic: people who would whine about small redesigns, the fact that I had the Robot Master Field Guide next to me to check for changes, or the fact that I own the guide at all?) Only two really stood out to me. First, Air Man. I mean, seriously, look at him compared to his game art.

Seriously, what? I think they were going for a hardcore design, but even not comparing him to the game art he looks stupid. But he got off easy compared to Toad Man.

I mean, really. Upon reflection, it's not that different, but he looks so stupid and out of place compared to the other characters. Then again, whenever I even hear his name I think of the Bob and George version of him where he's the loser Cossack Bot that no one liked.

Also, I love how they had to give Wood Man a new weapon because his game weapon is useless.

So anyway, onto the series itself. It's filled with the usual cliche plots: an episode where Mega Man shrinks, and episode where Mega Man swaps bodies with an enemy, the most pathetic Paper Thin Disguises working (seriously, see that screenshot to the right? Seeing it bigger makes it even more obvious), and, as per usual for Merchandise Driven shows, boatloads of characters that only show up once. In this case, however, the one episode characters were usually Robot Masters, which I already knew from the games, so it wasn't so bad.

The plots were usually well written, containing no stupidity until the very end, with the last two episodes. Seriously, in Future Shock, Mega Man had time to send Dr. Light one minute into the future, but not enough to just pull him out of the way? And Dr. Light was blown clear but no one saw? And in The Strange Island of Dr. Wily, I’m pretty sure radiation doesn’t work that way. Then again, I could just be stupid. But even with these, I can forgive the rest, especially Future Shock, which was a great, if somewhat badly paced, episode.

This didn't seem to fall into any truly tight formula, though there was a hint of that. Dr. Wily causes trouble with Proto Man, Cut Man, Guts Man, and the fourth (and sometimes fifth and sixth) Robot Master of the week, Mega Man and company take care of it, everything turns out okay. There still is enough variety that I can forgive this. There seemed to be this running theme in three episodes where the group met someone who seemed nice, only for him to turn out to be a robot made by Wily, or working for Wily, or Wily himself. I worried this would become a thing, but luckily not.

You might notice I’ve mostly said negative things about this series. This doesn't mean I think the series is bad, just that I have very little to say about it. It’s passable, but I don’t think I can give a recommendation unless you’re a hardcore Mega Man fan like I am.

Final Score: 7/10

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Racoonus

Medium: Video Game

System: PS3 as part of The Sly Collection

Reason for backlog: None. I beat it as a kid, but never got 100% like I wanted.

As a kid, I loved platformers. The PSX era was filled with the likes of Crash, Spyro, and others. My first PS2 game was Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy, which I played through 100%. I collected all the stars in Super Mario 64 by this point (I think). Yeah, I loved games like this. So when I saw the commercial for this game, I instantly wanted it.

Years later, my interest waned. I still haven’t touch Thieves in Time (but it’s on my list). Still, when GameStop was having a labor day sell, The Sly Collection ended up in my shopping bag, and I thought, “Hey, maybe I can beat the Master Thief Sprints now!” So, I decided to replay this after all these years. Does it hold up? ...Sort of.

The story is this: Sly is descended from a long line of thieves who kept all their thieving secrets in a book known as the Thievius Raccoonus. On the night Sly was to inherit the book, a group known as the Fiendish Five attacked them, killing Sly’s father and stealing the book, splitting it into parts and fleeing all over the globe. Now, years later, Sly is determined to defeat the Fiendish Five and reclaim his legacy. On his side, he has tech genius Bentley and driver Murray. Against him is Inspector Carmelita Fox, who is determined to arrest Sly one and for all.

The story and tone all seem like your basic saturday morning cartoon, which always gets a thumbs up from me. The cutscenes are vibrant stills (although apparently Japan got fully animated cutscenes... seriously, what's up with that?) that add to the lighthearted feel. It’s clear it’s more focused on just being fun than being deep, and I like that. That might be what brought me in, given my love for animation. The graphics are cel-shaded, which means they quite easily survive the upgrade to HD.

The game is split into five chapters, one for each member of the Fiendish Five. Each chapter has seven stages, plus a hub. These stages fall into two categories: thieving and gimmick.

Thieving is where this game shines. It’s Sly running, jumping, dodging security, and generally having excellent platforming action. I seemed to remember this not making very good use of the stealth aspects. Playing now, I think it was better than that. This game often encourages stealth. You need to dodge searchlights and lasers, guards and obstacles. While the alarms work on a two hit system, if a flashlight hits you you better take the guard out fast. Sly only has three hits maximum, and the later two have to be earned, so careful sneaking is the way to go.

Still, the whole time I was wishing the difficulty was higher. There was some potential for a truly challenging game here, but it’s bogged down by its desire to appeal to everyone. The only world that really gave me trouble was the last one, and not for the right reasons. Oh well.

In thieving levels, there’s three objectives. First, you must obtain a treasure key, which essentially means getting the key. Next, you must open each level’s safe. Scattered across the stage are clues, green bottles with notes in them. Collect them all, and Bentley will give you the combination for that world’s safe. These clues were not hard to find. Any I missed were usually obvious on a second playthrough. Inside each safe is either a page of the Thievius Raccoonus giving you a new move, or the villain’s notes, giving you enemy layout and the like. The latter you might find useful, but the former ends up amounting to nothing. Okay, the roll was good for reasons I’ll cover in a moment, and not taking damage from falls or water I appreciate, but both the mine and the decoys take too long to set up. The one time I tried, I was gunned down.

The final challenge is the Master Thief Sprint, and here’s where the challenge comes in. After you unlock a level’s safe, an hourglass will appear at the start of the level. Once you hit it, you’ll be forced to go through and complete the level in a tight time limit. This means you’ll really have to run, jump, and sneak with absolute efficiency, because the margin for error is surprisingly small. I think this was Sucker Punch’s way of having their cake and eating it too. They made an easy game for kids and added in this harder minigame for more experienced players. I remember it being tear-your-hair-out frustrating as a kid. Now, it was still clinch-worthy, but not to the degree I remembered.

Minor beef, but in the original PS2 game, you got level commentary for beating the sprints. They remove this from this version, even though Bentley still tells you you can get them. I had to listen to them on YouTube.

That aside, there are also gimmick levels, and here’s where the game suffers. These are mini games, and while some weren’t as bad as I remembered, they were still pretty lame. Shooting treasure chests in Raleigh's chapter annoyed me, and killing chickens in Mz. Ruby’s swamp annoyed me even more. And what’s worse, they actually increase as the game goes on. The final stage, which should be the part where you really put your skills to the test, is mostly minigames, with only two thieving segments. Even the final boss ends up being a tedious jetpack ride rather than a super cool, skill testing fight. At least, until the final segment, which was one that gave me trouble, though I think it's just because I'm out of practice with platformers.

The boss fights... they waiver. Muggshot was the only one who was hard for the right reasons. Mz. Ruby was hard, but she was mostly a rhythm mini-game. The others are easy, even the final boss until the thieving segment.

On a final note, the trophies in this game are ridiculously easy. I got four in the prologue. There wasn't even any for the Master Thief Sprints. Oh well...

I was thinking of doing an LP for this game, but going through my footage to get the pics for this review... man, I was bad at the beginning. I'm really out of practice with what was my favorite genre. That depresses me. I need some Mario in my life.

I enjoyed playing this game, but I’m not sure I’d recommend it unless you’re feeling nostalgic. Still, I have two more games in the collection... after I finish one of the JRPGs that I’ve been putting off.

Final Score: 7/10